"2009 Is Makin' Me Crazy"

Hello All! So, New Year's Eve was quite entertaining ... All day long the girls acted like crazy monkeys & Angelina kept shouting "2009 is makin' me crazy"! In case you're wondering if Bob & I dumped the kids off with my parents & celebrated 2009 out on the town - We did not! We started our New Year's Eve family tradition 5 years ago - we stay at home & celebrate with the girls. As my Mother said last week, "Going out on New Year's Eve is for amateur drinkers ... AND those who yearn for an accidental pregnancy" (I quite clearly do NOT fall into either category). I know, I know, Tuey gets funnier & funnier with age (she is going to kill me for writing that). Anyway, Angelina & Caroline made chocolate cupcakes, which we baked in the still CRAZY ovens. The "GE Men" are here right now trying to fix them. Although I must confess, cooking in ovens at unknown temperatures works well for me. Okay, back to New Year's Eve... After indulging in the chocolate cupcakes, we all jumped in the spa. At 10 o'clock we toasted with champagne & went to bed. Exciting? Hell ya... Life is ALWAYS exciting in this house! At 3:30 am on New Year's Day, Angelina woke up screaming with an ear infection. Our pediatrician isn't open on New Year's Day, but she called in a prescription for numbing drops. So, on New Year's Day, I made my usual black-eyed peas & cabbage. For those of you who do not know, I am very superstitious. I eat the black-eyed peas for good luck & the cabbage for money in the New Year. And for those of you who don't know, Bob eats neither black-eyed peas nor cabbage, but every year I make him eat one spoonful of my "Good Luck" concoction. Unfortunately, this year I gave him too big of a spoonful & he actually threw up in the kitchen sink. BUT like any superstitious crazy loon, I forced him to eat another spoonful, since the first one didn't stay down. Because Bob is a VERY good husband, he indulged my neurosis & ate another bite... This time it stayed down.

Okay, so onto Friday, January 2nd... I took Angelina to the Dr. & got some antibiotics.... THEN, I dropped off both kids at my parents' house for the night. BTW, Caroline is suffering from a really bad cough, too. My poor parents... I left two sick kids, a hot-steam vaporizer & a shit-load of medication at my parents house today at about 2:30. I just called to make sure everything was okay ... According to my Mother, Caroline announced that she is entering a "horse race" as a HORSE!!! Well, got to go spend some quality, ALONE time with my husband. Below are some photos of New Year's Eve...

Quick Complaint

Okay, there is something that I don't understand... AND for once, it doesn't involve my children. Why are there people out there who call themselves "intellectuals"? I know, this really has nothing to do with anything, but it is something that has been driving me crazy for quite some time. I mean really, who has the audacity to label him/herself a "deep thinker"? Is it just me OR does that not shout "I am an idiot with low self-esteem"? Okay, there, I'm done. Thank you.

We Reached A Milestone Today!

I actually went to a movie today with Angelina & Caroline - My girls, my BIG girls. There was no squirming, no whining, nothing... Just my 2 big girls, sipping on cokes & munching on popcorn. I couldn't believe it. It is a moment that I have been waiting for, for a long time. I have fond memories of my Mother & I going to the movies. We spent some great times in movie theatres. We went to a midnite showing of "Pet Cemetery" at the Dollar Theatre when I was in the 8th grade - We ended up scared to death & we still talk about it to this day. I have gone to the movies with the girls before, but in the past it has involved me chasing Caroline around the theatre after about 30 minutes into the show. But today was different, it was something that almost brought me to tears.... Okay, almost... I'm not that sappy. On a much funnier note, when we got home from the movie, Caroline immediately went & laid down on our bed & complained that her tummy hurt (I'm sure the popcorn, fruit chews & Dr. Pepper had nothing to do with it). To emphasize just how bad her tummy hurt, Caroline started breathing quite heavily. THEN, something completely unexpected happened.... Angelina crawled up onto the bed, looked at Caroline AND with total disgust in her voice said, "I know what's going on here... Caroline is 3 years old AND she is having a baby." She shook her head back & forth in complete disappointment & shame AND left the room. I laughed so hard, I nearly peed my pants. Caroline went to sleep & I promptly called my Mother.

The Christmas Miracle Arrived... Just in Time!

I managed to successfully cook Christmas Eve dinner in ovens that heated to unknown temperatures & had to be turned on & off at the breaker box. Seriously, I had no idea what temperature I was cooking the turkey at... I just threw the bird in & when it turned brown, I took it out & threw it on the table! Not bad... Not bad at all. Angelina & Caroline had a wonderful Christmas. As always, Tuey & Papa really came thru with some fabulous gifts. After watching High School Musical repeatedly, (a gift from Grandpa Neil & "P") the girls were THRILLED to receive the High School Musical costumes from Tuey & Pappa! Last year we set up the Christmas tree in the family room, but this year we put it in the formal living room. Concerned that Santa would come down the chimney in the family room, not see a Christmas tree & leave, the girls made paper arrows & placed them on the floor, leading from the fireplace to the living room. After securing the path, the girls set out cookies & milk for Santa. Caroline went the extra step & placed a bottle of Tums next to the cookies. That Caroline is ALWAYS thinking. Okay, onto Christmas Morning---- Because Angelina & Caroline were so good this year, Santa delivered everything they asked for - Angelina received her "Barbie & the Diamond Castle" Castle & Caroline received her CAROUSEL size riding horse. Below are some photos of the kids.... Enjoy!

Christmas Miracle... I'm WAITING!!!!

First of all, let me start by wishing everyone a lovely Christmas. Now that that's out of the way, I am going to complain about my last 24 hours. At 2pm yesterday, my new double ovens were installed. I was excited ... They were here just in time for my Christmas Eve cooking extravaganza. At 6pm, the girls & I decided to break-in the new ovens by making cupcakes. The cupcakes baked to perfection - I was happy, the girls were happy, Christmas was proceeding as planned. As I blissfully skipped past the ovens, I turned them off. However, about 7:45 Bob discovered that BOTH ovens were still on... That's right, my ovens are possessed! We tinkered with everything we could & nothing worked, so Bob finally went outside to the breaker box & cut the power. Upon his return, as he walked through the front door, he noticed that there was a freakin' bird sitting in our Christmas tree - NOT the ornament kind. We had to turn off all the lights in house, while Bob stood in the front doorway shining a flashlight to attract the bird outside. There we all stood in a pitch-dark house, ducking & screaming while the bird flew around like a nut, running into walls. The bird finally exited the house. We have no idea how the bird got in the house or how long it had been sitting in our fake Christmas tree. I haven't checked because I don't want to, but I am pretty sure there is bird crap on the packages. Oh well, I guess that's what wrapping paper is for. In case you're wondering, Bob restored power to the ovens this morning, so I cook the turkey. Supposedly GE will be out on Friday... IF the ovens don't explode before then!!!!!!!!!

Who Am I Kidding?

We are Jewish! Last nite was the first nite of Hanukah & we broke out the menorah! We lucked out this year & our neighbor allowed Angelina & Caroline borrow a book about Hanukkah... So, this year, Angelina actually read the appropriate prayer aloud as we lit the first candle. Angelina was so excited...

"Hanukah Has Begun"!

On Friday morning when I took Angelina to her classroom, Mrs. Kapur asked Angelina if she was excited about Christmas. Angelina advised Mrs. Kapur that she was more excited about the start of Hanukah. Of course, Mrs. Kapur then looked at me & said, "Oh, I'm sorry, I mean Happy Hanukah." I accepted the "Happy Hanukah," then explained that we're not Jewish! I have spent my entire life telling people, I'm not Jewish. Do you have any idea how many people over the years have just assumed that I am Jewish? We're talking thousands... For example, the other day I was in line at Old Navy... The salesclerk working the register ended each sale with "Merry Christmas". It was a long line, so I heard the guy say "Merry Christmas" over & over. At the end of my check-out, the guy handed me my receipt & said, "And a very Happy Hanukah to you." I have many close friends who are Jewish - it goes without saying that being Jewish is great, BUT I'm Lutheran! (Okay, I do have the Star Of David in Israel blue tattooed on my right butt-cheek, but that's another story). Anyway, Angelina's Pre-K teacher was Jewish & she really got Angelina hooked on Hanukah. I even bought a Menorah & a dreidel last year because Angelina wanted to celebrate Hanukah and we did (In fact, above is a photo of our menorah)! So, at 6 o'clock this morning, I was snuggled down in the covers, sound asleep, when all of a sudden Angelina burst into our room shouting, "Hanukah has begun"!!! I got up, took Angelina to the calendar hanging on the pantry door & showed her that Hanukah starts TOMORROW!!!! Guess, I will be up early tomorrow morning, too. Happy Hanukah, Everyone!

Will I Survive Christmas?

I went to bed on Thursday nite giddy with excitement because Friday was the last day of school & I was looking forward to Christmas! In my head were visions of joy, turkey, eggnog, new stainless steel double ovens... How naive was I? Well, you're about to find out! Okay, last year Bob & I made the catastrophic mistake of waiting until Christmas Eve to assemble toys. We were both sick with upper respiratory infections & we didn't get to bed until Christmas Day... It was a nightmare! Realizing the error of our ways, this year we planned ahead & dropped the kids off at my parents' house for the day, so we could assemble everything. I was really proud of us for being on top of things this year. Hell, I was done with all of the Christmas shopping before Thanksgiving. But just like every other aspect of being a parent, once you think you're in control, something happens & you quickly realize you're not! So, we turned on some Christmas music, drank some eggnog & wrapped & assembled toys. About 2pm, we reached the final toy- Caroline's bouncy horse. After an hour of trying to interpret a poorly written assembly booklet, which was actually missing a page, we got the damn thing assembled. After staring at the completed product for about 30 seconds, we realized that it was too small for Caroline to ride. There we stood, 4 days before Christmas, without the one thing Caroline wanted most for Christmas. If it weren't for the brandy in the eggnog, I probably would have hyperventilated!!!! I returned the fully assembled horse to the store, Bob got on the internet & found the horse we should have bought in the first place. Unfortunately, because it was 4 days before Christmas, the horse was out-of-stock everywhere. BUT THEN we experienced a Christmas miracle. I called the Toys R Us hotline & the very nice lady informed me that there was ONE horse left in all of Phoenix.... I was so happy, I almost cried. THEN, she advised that the horse was located at the Toys R Us on Dunlap. Then I really thought I was going to cry. For those of you unfamiliar with Phoenix, you NEVER want to go anywhere located on or near Dunlap ... It is a very dangerous area. But what choice did I have? I jumped in my mini-van & went to rescue Caroline's horse from the ghetto! When I arrived at the Toys R Us, which by the way had the Mexican flag hanging, I parked & called my parents to tell them "good-bye" ... Seriously, I wanted them to know that if I didn't arrive to pick up the kids, that I had died a noble death. Obviously I am writing about the experience, so I survived the trip to the Dunlap Toys R Us & successfully rescued the horse. Above is a photo of the two sleeping monkeys. Look at them, sleeping so peacefully, they have no idea what craziness we go through to make them happy... AND of course, that's how it should be!

Caroline's Day of Beauty

So, Tuey & Pappa babysat Caroline on Friday afternoon and brought both girls manicure sets. When Angelina came home from school, she immediately sat Caroline down & proceeded to "beautify" her! Poor, poor Caroline... Have you ever seen so much jewelry on one person? Surprisingly, Caroline took the whole thing very seriously...

I'm Still Alive!

So, I haven't posted in awhile because things have been so busy around here!!! Nothing too funny has occurred, which is rare for us, but here is a list of what has happened during the past week:

(1) We had a Cookie Exchange Party to go to last nite & my top oven broke on Wednesday. Nice timing, right? Oh, who am I kidding... I was so excited when that damn thing broke. First, I didn't have to bake anything AND because I had a legitimate excuse for not baking cookies, I was able to bring store-bought pastries without looking like a lazy ass! Second, we started our kitchen remodel about 6 months ago, we replaced all of the appliances with stainless steel EXCEPT for the double ovens. Every morning I walk into the kitchen & see those bright white double ovens & cringe. Luckily we renewed our home warranty & the repair man doesn't think the ovens can be fixed, so the home warranty company is going to cash us out... THANK GOD!!! Finally, new ovens... My kitchen will be complete!!!!! By the way, below is a photo of us before the party last nite...

(2) I think I have mentioned before that Angelina was born with the "Bossy Disease". Well, this morning Angelina & Caroline were playing Barbies in the playroom, when Angelina began dictating what Barbie Caroline could play with & telling Caroline what to make the Barbie wear & say. Well, after about 30 minutes of playing with the World's Smallest Control Freak, Caroline threw down her Barbie & left. She came into our bedroom, laid on the bed & proceeded to watch SpongeBob. Angelina came running after Caroline, begging her to come back & play. Caroline told Angelina "No Way". Angelina promised to play nice, but Caroline showed her absolutely no mercy. Then Caroline popped her thumb out of her mouth, looked Angelina straight in the eyes & said, "Rub my feet & scratch my butt, AND maybe I'll come back & play with you." That's my girl!

I Wonder Which List She Will Make?

So, last nite Angelina asked if she could call Tuey (that's my Mom). I dialed the number, gave Angelina the phone & went about my business. THEN, I heard Angelina say, "Tuey, I need to talk to you in private". Angelina went into our master bedroom closet & shut the door. The whole privacy thing didn't surprise me, since every time I ask the child a question, she usually responds "I can't tell you, it's Top Secret." Well, after Angelina finally hung up with my Mother, I immediately called her back to find out what Angelina had said (there is no such thing as "privacy" in my house). Before I reveal their "private conversation", I need to give you some background information. My children have one extremely large Disney Princess castle & 3 dollhouses. So, when Angelina announced that she wanted the Barbie Diamond Castle "Castle" for Christmas, I said "Are you crazy? You have 4 freakin' dollhouses, just call one the Diamond Castle"! Okay, I wasn't that blunt, you know, I used nice Mommy language. Anyway, I fully intended to stand my ground on this one... Seriously, we are going to need a bigger house if the kids keep collecting all this huge Barbie crap. BUT then, about a month ago, the Toys R Us catalog arrived. Angelina cut out the picture of the Diamond Castle "Castle" & put it in her Treasure Box. In a very sad, little voice she told me that if she could never have the castle, at least she could look at it occasionally. I know, she is a master manipulator. What else could I do? I bought the damn thing & Santa will be delivering it in a couple of weeks. So back to the closet conversation with Tuey. According to my Mom, this is the conversation that took place:

Angelina: Tuey, I really want the Barbie & the Diamond Castle "Castle"for Christmas... I have to have it.
Tuey: Why don't you ask Santa for it... You should write him a letter!
Angelina: What? That man doesn't know what he is doing.... You will need to get it.

What the hell? What 5 year old doubts Santa's ability to get the job done? Doesn't she know that he is keeping a Naughty & Nice list?