Get Comfortable, This Is A Long One! But A Good One....

I've said it before & I'll say it again, never ever tempt the universe by complaining, "things can't possibly get worse", because things can always get worse. So, about three weeks ago I woke up with a nasty patch of, well for lack of a better term, "CRAP" on my face. At first, I just figured I was experiencing an allergic reaction to something. So, I popped some benadryl. After that didn't work, I went to the doctor. Like always, the doctor was on vacation, so I had to see the nurse practitioner, who told me that I had a staph infection on my face. She prescribed a topical antibiotic cream. I used the cream religiously for about a week with absolutely no improvement. So, the day before we left for DisneyLand, the nurse practitioner called in an oral antibiotic. Again, no improvement. Well, the day after we got home from DisneyLand, my spinal cord started tingling & feeling like it was on fire. Then I realized what was going on - I am no stranger to that burning sensation - I had the same feeling when I had shingles back in 2005!!! Quick SideNote: Do you have any idea who gets the shingles? I'll tell you who - The elderly & those who have suffered a trauma. While I would classify my rest-stop incident with Angelina as traumatic (see previous post), I don't exactly think it qualifies as such on an objective scale.

Anyway, when I woke up the next morning, I made an appointment with a different doctor to discuss my shingles. BUT before going to the doctor, I had to pick up my mini-van from the Chrysler dealership, which I had dropped off the day before to have the "tail light situation" examined. I showed up at the dealership about 9:15, found a customer service representative & requested my car. The gentleman took down my name, left for about 5 minutes, came back & said, "Ma'am, you're car is not here". WTF? Really? Clearly, I disagreed with him & suggested that he look harder. After about 15 minutes, the Chrysler man returned & actually asked me the following question: "Are you sure you left your car here?" I may have two kids & I may be a little frazzled at times, but even I can't misplace a freakin' mini-van!!!! Finally, after about 30 minutes, a search team of 10 men located my Town & Country. Needless to say, when the doctor diagnosed me with shingles about an hour later & asked, "What are you so stressed about that you are getting shingles at your age?", I responded, "You have no idea." BUT wait, there's more!!!! The doctor prescribed me the anti-viral medication Valtrex to help speed up my recovery. You know, the cool drug that is always being advertised on TV to aid those horny folks suffering from genital herpes, who don't want to infect their partners. FYI - All of this chaos occurred on the same day as Angelina's school's "Fall Festival" - an event where I had to volunteer. When I dropped off my prescription at Walgreens & the lady asked when I needed the Valtrex, I told her that I needed it IMMEDIATELY because I had to get to a Fall Festival. I don't even want to know what type of booth she thought I was working....

I've Met Karma ... AND, It's True, She's A Bitch!

Okay, I am the first to admit that I have done some "not-so-nice" things to people in the past - hell, probably, within the last hour, BUT does karma always have to strike while I am on vacation?!?!?! As many of you know, we left for DisneyLand last Sunday. And because I am a responsible traveler, I took the mini-van in for an oil change & overall inspection the week before. Everything checked out fine. However, 5 minutes after leaving the house for Anaheim on Sunday morning, the freakin' tail lights went out. We had to turn-around & go home, with both kids screaming "this isn't the way to DisneyLand". We had to unload all of our crap from the mini-van & repack it in Bob's car. Let me tell you all the things wrong with traveling in Bob's car... First & most importantly, it is a car. You can't imagine how cramped it is traveling in a car with two little girls, who insist on packing two suitcases just for their American Girl dolls! AND, unlike my mini-van, Bob's car does not have a DVD player. Due to the lack of entertainment, Angelina & Caroline spent the entire 6 hour trip taunting each other, hitting each other, etc.

Fortunately, the actual time we spent at DisneyLand was fun. Sure it rained, but we're desert dwellers, so precipitation is always exciting for us. What wasn't fun, however, was the trip back home. Once again, the lack of a DVD player really screwed things up. While Caroline slept, Angelina stared & stared out the window until she became horribly car sick. After multiple complaints that she was going to throw-up, Bob pulled over at a rest-stop. I took Angelina into the restroom. But before we could get into a stall, Angelina puked all over the floor ... AND, all over my foot. Not a good day for wearing flip-flops, people!!! I had Angelina's breakfast all in-between my toes - No wait, it gets better - In preparation for round 2, Angelina ran into a stall & clutched the toilet seat with her bare hands. If you know me, then you know my kids touching a public toilet seat is my worst nightmare!!! While Angelina took a break from being sick, I decided to wash off my foot. Of course, two women had to walk in during my bath. There I stood, washing my foot in a public sink standing next to a large pile of vomit on the floor. Angelina was silent, behind closed doors, so it appeared that I was all alone. In all my 33 years, I don't think I have ever received such disapproving glares. All I could retaliate with was, "I'm a lawyer". I had to say something & that's all I could come up with... Uggghhh... There is absolutely no dignity to be found with this "mother gig".

But enuf about my traveling woes, below are some photos of us during happier times!!! And, yes, I am holding a glass of wine at DisneyLand!

I'm Back!

I know it's been quite some time since I last posted. Reason? I broke-up with my courage, aka Pinot Noir, about 3 weeks ago in an effort to drop some pounds for our upcoming DisneyLand trip. I have found that without my dear companion, I don't blog as much! AND no, I am not trying to lose weight to look good for Mickey Mouse - I am, however, trying to avoid a heat rash on my inner thighs - if you have walked around D'Land in the California heat, then you know what I am talking about. Luckily, the weight is gone & I have reunited with my precious Pinot Noir. AND speaking of break-ups, Caroline broke-up with Cade. Why? Unfortunately, I don't have any details - All Caroline will reveal is that Cade is "too much of a bad boy." Caroline informed me that the "wedding" with Tanner is back-on! Hope none of you returned that wedding gift you bought....

Onto more Mann Family news... As some of you may have seen on my FaceBook page, we put the girls in soccer - NOT GOOD. Bob & I never learn. For the past 3 years, every Fall, the girls beg to do soccer AND each time they hate it! They love buying the soccer shoes, soccer shorts, shin guards... What they don't love, however, is running around a field kicking a ball. Thank God we only have two more Mondays of soccer left & the whole fiasco will be over! We also only have two more gymnastics classes left - the girls have decided that they want to return to dance. Actually they decided they were tired of gymnastics the day after I paid over $300 to enroll them in the Fall Session. Mean Old Me is making them stick-it-out until the very end. Damn you, Dance Fever!!! You have no idea how much I am dreading the whole dance thing. I am sure you remember my insane experiences during last year's "dance season". Dear God, I need a glass of wine just thinking about it. Hold on, I am going to get one....

Now, I must address some heartbreaking news... As most of you know, Angelina started refusing to wear pants when she was 2 . For the past 4 years she has worn only dresses & skirts. Then, out of the blue last Monday before school, Angelina declared that she will no longer wear dresses. WTF?!?! First & foremost, I have a small fortune invested in dresses, size 6X. Secondly, who said what at school that made my innocent little dress wearing Angel self-conscious about wearing dresses? All you women out there know exactly what I am talking about. Some little girl said something bitchy to Angelina. Like any good Mother, I told Angelina that she looks beautiful in dresses & that some people have mommies who don't care what they wear or what they look like. THEN, I put Angelina in a skirt, dropped her off at school & made a mad-dash to the mall to stock up on skirts. Do I think you should buckle under peer pressure? Hell no, but I also remember what it is like to be a kid & I don't want my little girl to be unhappy. Luckily, Angelina & I struck the following deal: Angelina must wear a dress 2 days a week until she outgrows them!!! Believe me, if I could shove my butt into one of those Gymboree dresses, I would... Do you have any idea how much those freakin' dresses cost?!?! Well, I can tell you who doesn't know how much a Gymboree dress costs ... BOB. Poor man... Every time he starts talking about retiring at 65, I just laugh. Quick background info.: Bob is one of 4 boys. He has absolutely no idea what he is in for being the father of 2 girls: Prom dresses, wedding dresses, etc. Hell, the bra & tampon budget alone could have Bob working until he is 100!

Speaking of Bob, Caroline decided on Wednesday that she wanted her hair cut in a "bob". So, I took Caroline to the salon & had her hair whacked off. Below are some photos... Yes, I am still pulling her hair back & topping it off with a bow!!!