Why, Baby Chippie, Why?

On Thursday nite, Caroline's school had "Parent Orientation Nite". It's basically a meeting where the teacher tells all of the parents the classroon rules & expectations for the year. Well, after stuffing my big a$$ into a teeny-tiny preschooler chair, and finding myself bored out of my mind, I began to look around the classroom for something interesting. Here's another case of "be careful what you wish for", because I definitely found something interesting - a wall covered in drawings that each child had made of his/her family. Underneath each drawing was a child's name. I immediately started panning the wall, trying to find Caroline's name, so I could see her portrait of our family. During my examination of the wall, I encountered some great artwork - you know, stick figure moms, dad, brothers, sisters. THEN, I discovered Caroline's masterpiece - NO mom, No dad, No sister - just a large drawing of a monkey with big, red lips & "My Family" written underneath it. WHY?!?!?!?!? I mean seriously, what in God's name possessed her to do that? As always when it comes to Caroline, after I got over my initial shock of her deed, I laughed. I wonder what the 3rd week of school will bring?

Baby Chippie, Please, Please Be Good!

The girls have been in school for exactly 9 days & already we have had to schedule a meeting with Baby Chippie's teacher. Why you ask? I'm really not sure how to phrase this, but Caroline enjoys "hiding" her smarts when in the company of teachers. It all started last year in preschool when her teacher was trying to assess her knowledge of the alphabet. The child has known the alphabet backwards & forwards for years, so Bob & I were stunned when her "1st Semester Report Card" stated that Caroline could only identify the letter "C". WTF? Confused beyond belief, we scheduled a parent/teacher conference. FYI: The teaching method used in the preschool class is something called "Zoo Phonics". Basically, each letter is paired with an animal whose name begins with that letter - Aly the Alligator, Bubba the Bear, Catarina the Cat, etc. Well, according to Caroline's teacher, when she showed Caroline the letter "A" & asked her to make its sound, she made an alligator noise... With "B", Caroline growled like a bear & with "C" she meowed like a cat. The teacher explained that Caroline found the whole thing quite amusing. When we got home from the meeting, Bob & I sat Caroline down & gave her the "You're A Big Girl Now" speech. AND, before school started this year, I reminded Caroline that while school is a fun place, it also a place where learning is taken seriously. Like any good child, Caroline shook her head up & down & promised to cooperate with her teachers. Like any gullible mother, I looked into her big brown eyes & believed her.

So on Monday after school, as I was emptying Caroline's back-pack, I discovered a piece of paper from class where she had practiced writing her name. There was a big stamp across the top of the paper that read "Super Job". "Super Job" - I don't think so! The writing on the page was the worst rendition of Caroline's name I have ever seen. Now, I know what you're thinking: "Damn, Emily, the child is only 4 years old... GET A GRIP." I know she is only 4, but I also know that she can write her name very clearly. So, I asked Caroline to sit down & write her name for me. She did. Please, check out the comparison photos below... You see what I am talking about?

The next morning when we dropped Caroline off at school, I advised the teacher that Caroline can, in fact, write her name. That's when the teacher revealed this little gem. Apparently, the day before, the teacher advised Caroline that altho her letter "N" looked like an "N", she was not drawing it in the proper way. Caroline responded, "Well, this is the way I draw my "N's". When the teacher told Caroline that she needed to draw her "N's" in the correct way, Caroline became very irritated & snapped, "Well then, I guess I need to find a new school."

FABULOUS! Needless to say, I scheduled a parent/teacher conference, so that we could clear up the handwriting situation. Because I have a tendency to go apeshit when it comes to these types of things, Bob went alone & met with Caroline's teacher. Bob reported that she was quite surprised to see Caroline's real handwriting. What are we going to do with Baby Chippie? Love her.

EXHIBIT 1

EXHIBIT 2

The Last 24 Hours....

Yesterday afternoon, as I was backing out of the garage, I ran into the side of the garage. As a result, the back-end of my mini-van now has a big-ass dent in it. When I alerted Bob to the situation, he shook his head & laughed out loud. He tried to make me feel better by pointing out that the back of the mini-van now matches the front of the mini-van (See previous blog posts - I have also had my fair share of front-end "incidents") That poor car - having me as a driver has not been a good experience for it. What's worse is that I now look like a freakin' maid. I know it's terrible to say (AND I know this because Bob told me it was horrible to say), but every time I see a beat-up mini-van parked around here, the occupants are servicing someone's home. You know, the last year Angelina was at El Dorado, I overheard the teacher walking her to our car at the end of the day say, "Oh look, your nanny came to pick you up this afternoon." Real nice... Anyway, things didn't get much better when nite time rolled around. Sending Angelina off to "Sleepy Town" was a piece-of-cake... Unfortunately, getting Caroline to bed proved to be quite the ordeal. To avoid telling you a really long story, I will condense it ~ Caroline over-dosed on spaghetti, fruit chews & chocolate milk, so when it was time to go to bed, instead of peacefully closing her eyes & drifting off to sleep, she puked ALL over the place. So at 9pm last nite, I found myself washing sheets, washing Caroline's hair, etc. Luckily, everyone got a good nite's sleep & went on to have a great day at school. Needless to say, I am ready for bed & it's only 6:30!

Blast From The Past!

Not that I pride myself on being 100% up-to-date on current events around the world, but Angelina is about 69 years off the mark when it comes to current events. About a month ago, she became fascinated with a series of books about a little girl during WWII. Apparently, this little girl collects bottle caps to help the Allies. Well since reading these books, one thing has become very apparent about our little "Genius" - she has absolutely no concept of time. Why do I say this? Because Angelina is currently collecting bottle caps to help the Allies. That's right folks, Angelina is bound & determined to defeat Hitler. You can't begin to imagine how many bottle caps this child has collected. Bob & I don't have the heart to tell her that the Axis Powers have already been taken care of ... It's only a matter of time before she spear-heads a bottle cap collection drive at school. I can see it now - People will just assume that she is trying to garner support for our troops in the Middle East & the bottle caps will pour in by the hundreds. Then one day, someone will ask "the" question & Angelina's answer will reveal that she is, in fact, trying to stop the Nazis, not Al-Qaeda. This whole thing makes me long for the days when she was convinced she was Cinderella... Aaahhh, things were so simple then.

Back To School!

So, Monday was the 1st day of school for both Angelina & Caroline! I swear that first day back is better than Christmas. New dresses, backpacks & lunch boxes for the girls - a clean house & some much needed down-time for me. Now for the details! Because the girls' schools start & end at the same time, I was extremely anxious about getting everyone where they needed to be AND on time. Thank God we live so close to both schools because the parking situation was an absolute nightmare. Not that walking to school in 100 degree heat is enjoyable, but it clearly beats trying to find a parking space while watching the minutes tick, tick away until the final bell rings!!! With respect to Caroline's drop-off, we could have abandoned her in the school parking lot & left. The child would have wondered into school, settled into a 3rd grade class & never thought twice about the entire thing. In fact, on Tuesday, she begged & pleaded with Bob & I NOT to walk her into the school gates- she kept yelling "Halt ... I don't need you, I know where to go". To her extreme disappointment, school policy mandates that I sign her in at the classroom, AND besides, who the hell doesn't walk their 4-year old into school!?! Now onto Angelina's drop-off. Well for as much as Caroline is indifferent, Angelina is sensitive. While she didn't need to hold my hand, she did need me to blow kisses at her as she disappeared into the school building.

Now, onto the pick-up. Luckily, my parents volunteered to pick Caroline up from school, so I could figure out the "car pick-up" situation at Grayhawk. This is the deal: Last year at kindergarten pick-up, Angelina's teacher physically placed her in our car. BUT this year, at the "big kid" pick-up, all of the children in grades 1-6 gather in one big loading zone & hop into their cars. Anyway, I arrived at the loading zone early & took great pride in being the 3rd car in line. Well, when 3 o'clock rolled around, Angelina was nowhere to be found. In fact, no parent in the pick-up car line waiting for a 1st grader could find their child. After about 5 minutes, I got out of my car, approached the principal who was overseeing the pick-up process & reported that Angelina was MIA. Talk about freaking out... I knew Angelina was somewhere, but the thought of her panicking & thinking I had forgotten to pick her up was enuf to make me throw-up! Turns out that the 1st grade teachers decided to hold-back all of their students until the older kids were gone, so that the little ones wouldn't feel intimidated. Unfortunately, none of the 1st grade moms received that memo!!!

So by the time Angelina & I arrived home I was feeling guilty for being late for Caroline's big arrival home. As soon as we walked in the door, I asked Caroline how her first day of school went. Caroline responded with, "You don't need to know that". WTF? I tried to bribe her with fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies, BUT she still refused to tell me anything - she just kept saying, "You don't need to know". Well despite Caroline's refusal to divulge any details, I did manage to uncover one tidbit: Neither kid peed at school (BTW, my Mother is cringing right now b/c I didn't use the word "tinkle"). Can you imagine going from 9 until 3 without peeing? Well enuf talk... Below are some photos from the 1st day of school... Are my girls beautiful or what?

Surprise!

Wow! My life since Friday has been full of surprises. So, my weekend started off with a party. Sounds like a fun way to begin, right? Think again. I arrived at the party on time, however, the individual hosting the shindig showed up nearly 40 minutes late - almost 40 minutes late for her own freakin' party. The reason for the extreme tardiness? I have no idea because no reason or apology was given. But wait, it gets better. While I stood around waiting with the other guests, the owner of the venue approached me & asked for the total head count with respect to the guest list. WTF??? How the hell was I supposed to know... And that's basically the answer I gave. THEN, she complained that she left a message for the host regarding the final guest list & never received a call-back. Neat. That's right "Neat". That's really all I have to say about the situation because I cannot find the words to adequately express just how offended I am by the whole thing. How is it that I am continually shocked & surprised by people's complete lack of manners, respect, etc?

Okay, now for some more interesting surprises. On Saturday evening, while preparing dinner for a family BBQ, I whacked off the top of my pinky finger while peeling potatoes. I have never seen so much blood in my entire life. Holy Crappers, it was incredible. My Dad & I drove to Walgreens to purchase gauze & heavy duty band-aids. On the way home, I bled thru my jumbo paper towel wrap all over the interior of my parents' car. My poor Dad spent the next 20 minutes in our driveway trying to remove the blood stains because, as he explained, he didn't want to become the main suspect on a 48 Hours Mystery if I died (clearly someone is watching way too much of the Investigation Discovery Channel). My Mother tried to convince me to go in for stitches, but I refused. I have found in my 33 years that there are few things in life that excessive amounts of Motrin & Pinot Noir can't fix. After about 6 hours, the bleeding finally stopped. Hopefully, the top of my finger will grow back. For those of you who know, I barely have hands, so every little bit makes a huge difference. BUT, one more thing ... While I was waiting for my blood to clot, I was wondering around the house doing "Mom" things, when I happened to walk by the playroom, where I witnessed Caroline vigourously shaking the gerbil cage & yelling, "EARTHQUAKE, EARTHQUAKE ". You know, looking back, I seriously suspect that "Chocolate" the gerbil committed suicide.

I will now end this post with something completely random - A video of Caroline at Tuey & Pappa's house, entitled "A Rat Came Into The House".