Hey Babies, Where Did You Go?!?

Do you realize that school starts on August 17th? Where the hell did the summer go? But more importantly, where did my babies go? Over past 2 1/2 months my "babies" have morphed into "kids". Case in point - I have spent several hours a week over the past 4 years sitting in hallways, waiting for one or both of my children to emerge from lessons. Why did I stay? Well, what if someone got hurt OR even worse - what if Angelina or Caroline had to pee & neglected to put down the toilet seat safeguard, sanitary sheet?!?! Oh the horror! But times are a changin' for me. I am happy (and maybe even a little sad) to report that last Tuesday, I dropped the girls off at gymnastics, ran to the grocery store, went home to unload & then returned to pick them up. What's even more shocking is that it wasn't my idea. Angelina overheard me complaining to Bob about having to grocery shop so late in the afternoon after gymnastics, so she suggested I go to the store while she & Caroline were in class. To Caroline's disappointment, I escorted them into the building & waited for them to enter class before leaving. Caroline actually requested that I drop them off at the curb! WTF?!?!

Thank God that amidst all of the change I have witnessed this summer, one thing has remained the same - both Angelina & Caroline continue to shock me with the things that come out of their mouths. Below are few recent quotes from the Princess.

* So, we were all in the pool yesterday when a bee came flying by Caroline. When Caroline started to panic & flail around, Angelina yelled, "Caroline ignore it, you know like we do Mommy & it will go away"! I know they don't listen to me all of the time, but I certainly didn't know that it was part of a "strategy"....

* Before bed last nite, I asked Angelina which boys from her kindergarten class she was hoping to see in her 1st grade class this year. Angelina answered, "Evan". She went onto explain, "Evan chased me a lot at recess. And when the boys didn't chase me, I would tell them to." When Angelina encountered a blank stare & awkward silence from me, she advised, "Well, you know, only because it's good exercise."
* A couple of weeks ago, while we were waiting to be seated at a restaurant, Angelina leaned over & told me, "Mom, Mom, I don't think I can hold it." A little irritated, I told her to calm down & pointed to the ladies room sign. That's when she snapped, "No, no, not that... I'm feeling the urge to turn into a cheetah & I don't think I can fight it."
* As you can tell from the photos I post, Angelina & I look nothing alike. Sometimes I think it bothers her that Caroline looks a lot like me. So the other day, as I was staring at Angelina, I noticed that she might actually have my nose. Thinking that such a similiarity would make her happy, I said, "Hey, Angelina, I think you might have Mommy's nose". Unfortunately, her response was, "Great, I am going to have a huge nose".

Crap On A Stick!

Okay, this story involves neither crap nor a stick, but is nevertheless interesting. So the gerbil drama did not end with the freezing of Blondie's body. BTW, it was rather interesting to return from our trip & find Blondie nestled between a frozen pizza & a bag of spinach. Good thing we didn't die on the trip back home, someone would have looked in my freezer & thought I was too cheap to buy hamburger! Anyway, remember awhile back when Blackie & Blondie escaped from their cage during the nite & Blackie was batted to death by the cats & Blondie lost her tail? Well, after Blondie recovered from her tail injury, we purchased Blackie Part II, so Blondie wouldn't be lonely. So after Caroline performed the ceremonial tossing of Blondie's body into the garbage bin (see photo), the girls & I traveled to PetSmart in search of a new companion for Blackie. Caroline & Angelina picked out a little brown cutie & named her "Chocolate". When we got home, we put Chocolate in the cage with Blackie. Unlike our previous experience with integrating gerbils, they didn't fight or chase each other. Well, two hours later, when I went into the playroom to check on the gerbils, I was stunned to discover that Chocolate was MIA. Initially Bob made fun of me, since Blackie was still in the cage & all of the doors & latches on the cage were locked. BUT, after sticking his hand in the cage & performing a thorough examination of the gerbil premises, Bob agreed that Chocolate had somehow managed to escape. We locked the cats in our room & began searching the house. After about 30 minutes & a glass of wine (who am I kidding? 2 glasses of wine... EACH), Bob decided to rummage thru the cage one more time. That's when Bob dug up Chocolate's very bloody body. That's right, Blackie ate Chocolate. OOOOOhhhh the drama... Angelina howled & howled - Caroline, on the otherhand, shrugged her shoulders & exhibited extreme irritation with Angelina's expression of grief. In fact, Caroline was so irritated that she tried to slap the hysteria out of Angelina. To everyone's disappointment, the slap just made Angelina scream louder & resulted in Caroline being put in time-out. Anyway, the next morning, the girls & I returned to PetSmart with our receipt, which guaranteed us a brand new, breathing gerbil, if the originally purchased gerbil kicked it. I presented the first teenage, acne-stricken, sales associate I encountered with our receipt & requested a new gerbil. That's when Miss High School Reject 2009 advised me that she needed to see Chocolate's body in order honor my request. WTF?!?! It's a freakin' gerbil, not Michael Jackson! Of course, I asked to speak with the manager - I informed Mr. Manager there was no way in hell I was going to dig for the body of a dead gerbil, which sat overnite in an outdoor garbage bin, in 100 degree heat. It didn't hurt that Caroline looked up at the man, and with her big, brown eyes, muttered, "Mister, my gerbie is dead". To make an incredibly long story a little less long - we bought a new gerbil named "Cutie". Blackie Part II seems to like her - and by "seems to like her", I mean that Blackie Part II has yet to eat her.

Hello Again!

Has it been a long time or what??? So, we left for the mountains last Wednesday to escape the horrific heat - we were supposed to be back in Scottsdale today... BUT, as we were driving home this morning, we passed a cheesy, western ranch/resort. Angelina saw a sign advertising horse rides for little kids, so we pulled over. I think all of you know that Angelina has a bizarre obsession with horses. Anyway, for $16.00 the girls got to ride two little ponies around in a circle for about 5 minutes. While Bob was gone investigating the resort, the girls & I took a tour of the horse stables. When the tour guide stopped to show us the ranch's prized stallion, Caroline pointed at the horse's private parts & made some loud, inappropriate comments. Thank you, Baby Chippie. After the tour, the girls begged to have lunch at the "Wild Women Saloon" - Fitting name, right? And because Bob & I are push-overs & scared to death of the 115 degree temperatures in the valley, we got a room at the ranch for the nite.

BUT NOW, some very sad news.... According to our next-door-neighbor's son - the one taking care of our zoo while we are away - Blondie the Gerbil has left us for the big running wheel in the sky! So sad... We haven't told the girls yet. We instructed Nicholas to place Blondie in a ziploc bag & toss him in the freezer... The kids will definitely want to say "good-bye" & look at him one last time!

4th of July Flashback!

I remember it like it was yesterday, the week leading up to July 4th, 2005. I made an appointment to have the girls' portrait taken. I loaded up the girls & my parents and headed off to the mall. Angelina had a total melt-down & refused to sit for the photographer. We tried to calm her down by buying her a huge cup of chocolate ice-cream, which she then proceeded to drip all over her dress. By the time Angelina was ready to have her picture taken, her dress (which matched Caroline's dress) was filthy. Because the girls had to match, I ran into the closest store, which happened to be Old Navy, to buy two NEW dresses. To my horror, the only similiar looking dresses I could find were these over-the-top 4th of July outfits. AND of course, when we returned to the photo studio they couldn't squeeze us in. By the time we found a photo studio that had time for us, we had been at the mall for 6 freakin' hours. I remember my Dad asking how many times a year I planned on having the kids picture taken!!! I also remember Bob's reaction when he first looked at the 8 x 10 - "All you're missing is a photo of George Bush in the background." ANYWAY, on Thursday, the kids & I found ourselves near a photo studio, so we ran in & had a 4-Year Anniversary photo taken to commemorate that day back in 2005!

The Girls of Summer

Okay, living in the desert during the summer does have its benefits. For instance, the girls swim all day & all evening. My laundry load is at an all-time low & I don't have to bathe them every nite. Right or wrong, I am that mother who believes that chlorine kills almost everything.