Crap On A Stick!

Okay, this story involves neither crap nor a stick, but is nevertheless interesting. So the gerbil drama did not end with the freezing of Blondie's body. BTW, it was rather interesting to return from our trip & find Blondie nestled between a frozen pizza & a bag of spinach. Good thing we didn't die on the trip back home, someone would have looked in my freezer & thought I was too cheap to buy hamburger! Anyway, remember awhile back when Blackie & Blondie escaped from their cage during the nite & Blackie was batted to death by the cats & Blondie lost her tail? Well, after Blondie recovered from her tail injury, we purchased Blackie Part II, so Blondie wouldn't be lonely. So after Caroline performed the ceremonial tossing of Blondie's body into the garbage bin (see photo), the girls & I traveled to PetSmart in search of a new companion for Blackie. Caroline & Angelina picked out a little brown cutie & named her "Chocolate". When we got home, we put Chocolate in the cage with Blackie. Unlike our previous experience with integrating gerbils, they didn't fight or chase each other. Well, two hours later, when I went into the playroom to check on the gerbils, I was stunned to discover that Chocolate was MIA. Initially Bob made fun of me, since Blackie was still in the cage & all of the doors & latches on the cage were locked. BUT, after sticking his hand in the cage & performing a thorough examination of the gerbil premises, Bob agreed that Chocolate had somehow managed to escape. We locked the cats in our room & began searching the house. After about 30 minutes & a glass of wine (who am I kidding? 2 glasses of wine... EACH), Bob decided to rummage thru the cage one more time. That's when Bob dug up Chocolate's very bloody body. That's right, Blackie ate Chocolate. OOOOOhhhh the drama... Angelina howled & howled - Caroline, on the otherhand, shrugged her shoulders & exhibited extreme irritation with Angelina's expression of grief. In fact, Caroline was so irritated that she tried to slap the hysteria out of Angelina. To everyone's disappointment, the slap just made Angelina scream louder & resulted in Caroline being put in time-out. Anyway, the next morning, the girls & I returned to PetSmart with our receipt, which guaranteed us a brand new, breathing gerbil, if the originally purchased gerbil kicked it. I presented the first teenage, acne-stricken, sales associate I encountered with our receipt & requested a new gerbil. That's when Miss High School Reject 2009 advised me that she needed to see Chocolate's body in order honor my request. WTF?!?! It's a freakin' gerbil, not Michael Jackson! Of course, I asked to speak with the manager - I informed Mr. Manager there was no way in hell I was going to dig for the body of a dead gerbil, which sat overnite in an outdoor garbage bin, in 100 degree heat. It didn't hurt that Caroline looked up at the man, and with her big, brown eyes, muttered, "Mister, my gerbie is dead". To make an incredibly long story a little less long - we bought a new gerbil named "Cutie". Blackie Part II seems to like her - and by "seems to like her", I mean that Blackie Part II has yet to eat her.