Aaaahhh, the good old magic wand... You're thinking of princesses, fairies, magicians, aren't you? Well think again, my friend. Sorry, but I am taking this post down below... Now, back to my IUD.
In case you didn't know, six weeks after you get your IUD, you have to come back for an ultrasound, to make sure that everything is in place. Oddly enuf, no one asked me to come back for an ultrasound after my 1st IUD - I guess Bob & I have been living dangerously for the past 5 years. Anyway, it just so happened that my ultrasound appointment fell on the day after Caroline got out for summer vacation. I figured that the ultrasound was going to be the standard, external "let's check on the fetus development" ultrasound, so I brought Caroline with me to the appointment. So, they call my name & I go back & get situated in the very dark ultrasound room. The technician enters the room & says, "Ok, all I need you to do is take your underwear off & put your feet in the stirrups." If I could have screamed, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO", I would have. WTF?!?! That's right, I was completely blindsided by a vaginal ultrasound. Before I could say anything, Caroline informed the ultrasound technician that I was not wearing any underwear - Yes, Strike #2! Although in my defense, this time I was wearing my swimsuit, so there was something covering my Hoo-Ha. Going on.... So I took off my bikini bottoms & positioned myself in "the chair". That's when the technician, held up her instrument & said "Okay, all I am going to do is insert the MAGIC WAND & check to make sure your IUD is in place." Thank you, thank you, technician lady, for calling your vaginal probing device a "Magic Wand." Seriously? WTF, is wrong with you? Caroline put her face right next to mine & whispered in my ear, "Oh Mommy, she is going to put a magic wand in your TeeTee, can I watch?" Luckily, I was able to fight back my visions of CPS calling for an investigation, just long enuf to tell Caroline, "NO."
You know, I have spent the past 7 years of my life trying to be the best mother that I can be... AND then, out of nowhere, come these bizarre situations that I have absolutely no control over. And no, I don't have any photos to share along with this post!
