Because I can't write about my HOO-HA every time, I decided to write about something completely NON-HOO-HA related ... Sooooo, if you've been reading my blog, then you know all about my two daughters, Angelina & Caroline - darling little girls, who bring loads of sunshine to my life. And now, after much consideration & inner reflection, I have decided to finally introduce my third daughter, Tasha, to the world. If you look above, you will see a photo of Tasha. And yes, you are staring at a photo of a little girl who appears to be Caroline looking, well, evil. FYI - When Caroline does bad things, loses her temper, announces that she wants to be adopted by a better family, she turns into someone she refers to as "Tasha". And altho Angelina is hugging Tasha in this particular photo, Angelina usually FEARS her. I have personally witnessed the horrific actions of Tasha, and believe me, Angelina has every reason to be scared. Seriously, I have already started writing a script for a LifeTime movie based on the evil-doings of Tasha.
So this past week, a great friend & fellow lawyer posted a New York Times article, which discussed whether women can really have "it all". As an attorney who runs her own law firm, AND who is in the process of raising two little girls (three, if you count Tasha), I am here to tell you that women CANNOT have it all. Sorry to all of the optimistic women out there, but it's the truth ... AND, here's why. Picture it, a typical weekday morning...
Bob was at a deposition and I was working in the home office when opposing counsel called. Now before I go on, let me tell you about the chaos that had already ensued prior to the phone call. Angelina wanted popcorn for breakfast, I obliged. I threw the bag in the microwave & tossed the finished product into a bowl - VOILA! Breakfast! The whole thing seemed easy enuf, but before I knew it, I heard screaming from the family room. When I came around the corner, Angelina was throwing her popcorn in the trashcan. Of course, I asked why she was throwing away her breakfast. This is the explanation I got: "Tasha took off her panties & put her butt on top of my bowl of popcorn... Now, my popcorn is covered in Tasha's butt germs." Fabulous! I challenge anyone working at a Big Firm to top this story!!! HA, it can't be done!
Anwyay, moving on.... After making another bag of popcorn & banishing the girls to the playroom, the office phone rang. Before answering, I yelled down the hall, "Girls, Mommy is answering the office phone, BE QUIET!" I answered the phone, only to be confronted by gripey opposing counsel. My thoughts of "Not this guy", quickly turned to "Oh SHIT" - as Tasha came marching down the hall playing her freakin' cymbals! I put my hand over the mouthpiece of the phone & snapped "STOP", but Tasha could not hear me over the bashing of the cymbals. As a last resort, I began throwing legal pads into the hallway, all in a an effort to get her attention. Again, no success. Finally, I walked out of the office, and with my hand still over the mouthpiece, I jumped in front of Tasha & mouthed a very angry "STOP IT". Unfortunately, in the process of doing so, the phone cord knocked over my coffee on the office desk & it spilled all over some pleadings. Three hours later when Bob arrived home & asked why his pleadings were covered in dried coffee, I told him not to ask. UGGGHHH!
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