People, I have had one hell of a past couple of months! I am going to bullet point some of the bizarre crap I have experienced since I last posted.

Angelina Joined A Cult: Angelina is now a "Daisy", which is the lowest level Girl Scout. FYI: Girls Scouts rearranged their hierarchy, so you can't become a Brownie until the 2nd grade. And let's be clear, it was NOT my idea for Angelina to become a Daisy - I think I lasted all of 3 months in Brownies. But, Angelina had to become a Daisy because she loves adhering to a code of ethics, and for some strange reason, she thinks she gets to make & bake the Girl Scout Cookies. Anyway, a couple of weeks ago, I got roped into escorting Angelina & her troop to the the ballet! The point of this field trip was for the girls to earn their "Theatre" badge. Here's some pertinent info.: Before you enter the theatre there is a big-ass sign that reads, "NO FOOD OR DRINK IN THEATRE". Duh! Anyway, midway thru the ballet performance, I hear a crinkling sound in the row behind us, I turn around & one of the little girls from our troop is eating chips out of a Doritos bag.... WITH her mother sitting right next to her. No wait, it gets better! About 10 minutes later, the mother sitting next to me, leans down, opens her purse - AND I shit you not - pulls out a 6-inch sub with all the fixins' & hands it to her kid. WTF?!?! This kid starts chowing down on a freakin' hoagie in the middle of the ballet. Hell, if I would have known we would be breaking out Doritos & Subway sandwiches, I would have brought a flask! Below is a photo of Angelina & I before the ballet... Look at me, I have no idea what is about to happen...

I Received the "Mother of the Year 2009 Award": Don't get too excited, I am being sarcastic. Okay, around November 6th, Caroline tripped & hit her head on the frame of the girls' bathroom door while the girls were brushing their teeth (that's what you get for practicing oral hygeine). She got a "goose egg" on her forehead, right by her hairline. We gave her some Motrin, put an ice-pack on her head for an hour & repeatedly checked her pupils. Everything seemed fine, but a week later, my Mother noticed that Caroline had a small dent on her forehead where the "goose egg" had originally formed. There was no visible bruising & Caroline said her forehead felt totally fine. About 3 weeks later, while rubbing Caroline's forehead at bedtime, I detected a hard bump on the top of her eyebrow, on the same side where she hit her head. Bob & I figured that she had an infected eyebrow hair, so I took her to the pediatrician. I explained that Caroline had fallen & hit her head about a month earlier. After hearing my story & examining the dent, the doctor advised that the hard bump was NOT an impacted eyebrow hair. According to the pediatrician, when Caroline hit her head, the blood drained internally down her forehead, hit her brow-bone, congealed & formed a calcified blood clot. Nice... real nice. Boy, did I feel like a SuperStar Mom! You know, you try not to panic & rush your child to the emergency room like a crazy, paranoid mother, AND as a result, something like this happens! The doctor said the calcification should go away in a few months... God, I hope so, I feel awful about the whole thing! Of course, on the way home from the Dr.'s appointment, Caroline asked, "Mommy, you know why I have an ouchie on my head?" I gave my answer & she responded with, "No... It's because I farted so hard, it blew out my head!"

Christmas 2009: Merry Christmas, Everyone! For the past five years, the girls & I have been on antibitoics at Christmas - and this year was no exception. About 5 days before Christmas, we all came down with Strep Throat. Oh the joy of the season! Tuey & Pappa came over on Christmas Eve & I cooked a big Christmas Eve dinner. Angelina & Caroline opened all of their presents & thoroughly enjoyed themselves. Below is a photo of me cooking the turkey!