Did You Miss Me?

Hello, All!!! Have you missed my complaining over the past few months? Why the long time off?Because my life has been absolutely insane since Christmas. Between the girls' schedules & Bob's work schedule, I haven't had time to do anything but bathe & drink wine. Well wait a minute, that's not entirely true. I have been brushing my teeth on a daily basis, but if I am going to be completely honest, I must admit that I don't always floss. ANYWAY, it's been so freakin' long that I don't know where to begin ... So, in order to be concise & to not to bore you with all of the sordid details, I am going to list some of my most memorable "WTF Moments" from the past few months:

1. Don't Shoot The Messenger: Quick Refresher - Back in November, we took the girls to the "Polar Express" for a weekend in Northern Arizona. Angelina & Caroline got to ride a train in their pajamas to the North Pole to visit Santa Claus - just like the book & movie "The Polar Express". Keep in mind that this is a trip that EVERYONE with children in Scottsdale takes. Now onto the story - While at a birthday party for one of Caroline's classmates in January, another mother informed me that while volunteering in the classroom in December, Caroline stood up & told the class that she had an important announcement to make. According to the mother, Caroline told the class that the Polar Express was a fraud. She proceeded to explain to all of her innocent, non-jaded 4-year old classmates that a trip to the North Pole had to last longer than 20 minutes. Caroline concluded her announcement with the following: "Please don't tell my parents what I have told you, they spent a lot of money on the trip & they think they actually went to the North Pole." Thank you, Caroline, for being so considerate of our feelings. Check out the photo to the right... Who the hell knew she was thinking, "Move it along, Old Man... You're a Fake".

2. My IUD Replacement: Speaking of being "Woo'd", as many of you know, I had a 5-year IUD put in after I had Caroline. Well, Caroline just turned 5, so I'm sure you can guess where this is going.... Mama needs a replacement! Anyway, we just switched to a "Health Savings Account". I don't know how many of you are familiar with HSAs, but basically you upfront all of your healthcare costs until to you meet your deductible & there are additional tax benefits. So, approaching my IUD replacement date, I called my OB/GYN's office to inquire how much my IUD would cost with the new insurance plan. That's when I was told that my IUD would cost "870.00." Yes, that's cheaper than having another baby, but WTF?!?!? As you can imagine, I was unable to contain my horror at the cost of my birth control. That's when the billing lady said, "Well, you can save $135 if you forgo the local anesthesia". Again, WTF?!?!?! Look, I may be cheap, but when it comes to my "Hoo-Ha", I am really not looking to cut costs. Brace yourself - the billing lady then says, "You know, you're being charged $35 for the bowl the doctor uses to hold your current IUD after its removal." Nice... I can only surmise that she was hinting I cut $35 off of my bill by bringing some old, used piece of Tupperware for the doctor to use. AGAIN, not where I am looking to cut costs!

3. Happy Birthday, Babies!: Luckily, there is no horror involved in this story... Angelina turned 7 on February 13th & Caroline turned 5 on March 1st. I can't believe my babies are so old! But of course, no matter how old they get, they will always be my babies.