The Fall Off The Wagon Hurt!

As some of you know, about 2 weeks ago I hopped on the wagon in an effort to lose 7 pounds & banished my precious Pinot Noir from the house. Although a sad, sad state of affairs, the two weeks didn't kill me b/c I had an end in sight - MY BIRTHDAY! I promised myself that I would reunite with Pinot for my birthday celebration - no woman should be forced to age without a cocktail, right? Now, if you know me, then you know that I drink wine every nite (it's why I'm such a good cook). I'm certainly not an alcoholic (I know, I know, overcoming "denial" is one of the 12 Steps), but I'm also not a light-weight when it comes to wine consumption. So you can imagine how stunned I was when I woke up the morning after my birthday with a full-blown hangover. FYI - I haven't had a hangover since 1994!

How did it happen? Did I go to a bar & get crazy with the shots? No, I'm too old for that crap - I just walked down the street & enjoyed several glasses of wine at my neighbor's house with all of the other wonderful moms in my neighborhood (Check out the photo below)! In fact, I was home by 10:15 - hell, we're moms, we do things efficiently, and that includes drinking. Everything seemed to be going smoothly - I was in bed by 11 - I even slept great. BUT when Caroline woke me up at 6:30 the next morning for some chocolate milk, I seriously thought I was going to die. I haven't felt like that since the "trash can punch incident" my freshman year of college. However, having a hangover when you are 34 and a Wife/Mother is NOT the same as having a hangover when you are 18 and ALONE in a dorm room. OMG, it was just awful ... And here's why:

Vomiting With An Audience: As I clung to the toilet for dear life in the girls' bathroom, Caroline sat on the side of the bathtub, right next to me, & read out loud in a booming voice a book entitled "Don't Touch, It's Hot". The child demonstrated absolutely no sympathy for me. In fact, she acted as though me clinging to a toilet was a part of our everyday routine. At some point, Angelina walked by the bathroom, popped her head in & said, "Are you throwing up? ... That's disgusting". THEN, she just walked off. There was no "Are you okay, Mom"? or "Are you going to die, Mom"?

Bathing With Barbie: At one point, I thought a hot bath would make me feel better, so I crawled into the girls' bathtub. As I sat there praying (FYI - I am quite religious when vomiting is involved), Caroline hopped into the tub with me. THEN she started making her Barbie doll talk to me. That's when I realized that God was punishing me for only praying when I vomit.

The Clueless Husband In Search of Food: Finally feeling better, I crawled into Caroline's bed and fell asleep. About 8am, Bob came into the girls' room & nudged my arm. That's when he notified me that we were out of "Multi-Grain Cheerios". My reply: "Bob, I nearly died earlier, did you not hear me throwing up"? Bob's response, "Oh, I thought the cat was hacking up a hair ball ... I'm so sorry" - Less than a minute later, I hear - "Girls, get dressed we're going to McDonald's for breakfast."

Luckily, I was 100% by 10 am & Bob saved the day by taking me out for a post-birthday dinner. Needless to say, I haven't had a drink since my birthday... It will be awhile...