It's Finally Over!

You have no idea how happy I am that all of the holidays are FINALLY done! First there was Christmas, then the girls' birthday, THEN my wedding anniversary and at last, Easter. Holidays were a lot more fun when I wasn't Santa Claus & the freakin' Easter Bunny - oh, and the Tooth Fairy, I am also the Tooth Fairy. Attorney & Mother by day - Fictional character by nite - the moonlighting is killing me! And by the way, why am I not getting paid for the Mother/Fictional Character thing? All logistics aside, with another year of holidays passing, I am confronted with the reality that my girls are growing up. For example, yesterday I made our FINAL payment to Caroline's preschool. You can't possibly imagine the magnitude of this milestone. For the past 4 years (Angelina & Caroline's preschool combined), we have paid El Dorado Private School the equivalent of 4 years of in-state college tuition. That's right, folks - Bob & I are complete idiots. We paid college tuition, yet neither child walked away with a degree! Sure Caroline can recite her ABC's, and yes, she can count to 20 & say the days of the week in Spanish & French, but where is her Bachelor's Degree???? Where I ask you??? AND even more curious - why the French? We live in Arizona - Who the hell is speaking French around here? I'll tell you "who" -Caroline, that's it - NO ONE else! Oh well, shit happens - and apparently, so does tuition. I'm just happy the whole thing is over!

So before I go on to tell you a wholly unrelated story, I would like to point out that below are some very touching Easter photos of Angelina & Caroline. Now onto the "wholly unrelated" story. As some you might recall, last Easter, I called my Mother only to learn that my dear relative "Ramona's" vagina had fallen out. If you are new to this blog, I encourage you to check out the archive - very interesting story. ANYWAY, nothing near as fascinating happened this year on Easter, but I must share with you my Mother's Easter dream. Now, when I say "dream", I am not referring to some awe-inspiring vision that my Mother holds with respect to the future of our nation's children. No - I am referring to an actual "nighty-nite dream" that my Mother had - while asleep - on Easter. Here goes....

My Mother & Father have been invited to the White House for dinner - during George W. Bush's first term. During dinner, my Mother drops her white, linen napkin under the table & reaches down to pick it up. That's when she discovers that lurking under the table are boxes & boxes of tampons & tons and tons of KY Jelly. When my Mother comes back up from retrieving her napkin, she inquires why there are tampons & tubes of KY underneath the presidential dinner table. That's when President Bush responds, "Oh, those were left over from the Clinton Administration."

If my Mother doesn't kill me for posting the aforementioned, I will write again in a couple of days!