Monday, February 23, 2009

It's Definitely A Monday...

When I woke up this morning I was full of hope. For the first time in a really long time I was looking at an afternoon at home, all by myself. Both girls were going to school & Bob was participating in a deposition downtown. I had dreams of watching an adult TV show & peeing without an audience.... Unfortunately, my Monday turned out to be, well, a Monday. Below is a list of some of the wonders of life I encountered:

(1) I am obsessed with kitty litter. I hate finding those itsy-bitsy pieces of clay on my tile. To reduce the cats' spread of litter, I have put a roof on the litter-box AND my father has constructed & installed a wooden tunnel to the entrance of the litter box. While shopping at PetSmart this past weekend, I discovered a "new" type of litter box. It was a litter box with it's entrance on top, i.e., the cat has to jump on top of the litter box & crawl thru a hole to get in. I wasn't gullible enough to buy the damn thing, but when I returned home, I rearranged the litter box tunnel so the opening was on top. Last nite, I took both cats into the laundry room & showed them how to get into the tunnel & into the litter box. Well this morning, when I returned home from dropping Angelina off at school, I found a gigantic pool of cat pee on the laundry room floor next to the litter box AND a big pile of cat sh*! on my living room floor. Needless to say, I returned the tunnel back to its original position. Couldn't they have just left me note?

(2) Caroline goes to school at 11:30. Last week we scheduled a playdate for Caroline & one of her classmates for 10:30 this morning, before school. Well, about 10:15 Caroline asked me to unlock the front door so she could check on her flowers. It sounds logical, right? I obliged & went outside with her. Once we were outside, Caroline proceeded to pull the wagon, which we keep by our front door, into the frontyard. As I have mentioned in previous posts, I have OCD & everything must be in "its place". At the time, I thought Caroline's relocation of the wagon was annoying... what I didn't know was that the "wagon move" was part of her evil plan to lock me out of the house!!! As I turned my back to move the wagon, Caroline ran up the walkway, shut the front door & locked it. She then pressed her little face against the window next to the door & stared at me. As I begged her to unlock the door, she slowly shut the plantation shutters on the window. There I stood locked out of my own house, minutes away from a mother entrusting me with the care of her child. Did I sweat? Hell yes. Did I bang on the front door & yell? Hell yes. Finally, I rang the doorbell & heard the door unlock. Caroline opened the door very slowly & said, "Please, come in my friend." Well, at least she was polite!

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